I'm confused

… I was really sick last night, perhaps because of the heavy rain yesterday. Instead of going to Ayala, I decided to go home and take a rest. It’s around 8pm when I’m in bed already. I feel relax until I felt a sleep.

… 12:45 AM, I was awake because I felt my pillows were falling down and after picking up my favorite pillow, I could not anymore go back to sleep. Things were bugging up me. So I decided to make a random list on what to do the following day. In as much, as I want to get rid of my work, but I could not. It’s as if my work is killing me everyday. My sister has been telling me if I’m tired then get up and pack my things. There are a lot of opportunities out there. If I’m not happy then find a space that will make me happy.

… Perhaps she’s true! If I was effective with my work, then I could also be as effective with other field. I remember one week I go, I just spoke with my boss. He has been asking me what my plans are. He knows that I’ll not be staying longer in the company. I could not tell him my plans since I was not yet sure of it. I just told him; perhaps I can still manage working alone since my counter part is resigning. Honestly, I’m not sure with my answer. I could see in his eyes that he has a lot of expectations on me. I don’t want to go and leave the branch hanging.

… I wake up this morning and I could feel that it’s really cold outside. I feel like not going to work. But I really have to. So I get myself ready for work with no idea what will happen this day in the office. I just cross my fingers that everything will fall on its proper place.